andraste: The reason half the internet imagines me as Patrick Stewart. (Default)
[personal profile] andraste
I swear, I will never get bored of this bit of script! Every time I think I have seen everything that's programmed into it, it throws another one at me. Career guidance from the magic computer thingy:

- the coalition of the willing -

George W. Bush: Vibrator tester
Tony Blair: Professional Tramp
John Howard: Lap dancer

... I cannot help thinking they would do less damage this way.

- actors! -

Ian McKellen: Monkey Impressionist
Patrick Stewart: Prime Minister (I think we should campaign for this.)

[livejournal.com profile] apathocles wanted Transfomers, and who am I to refuse her?



- Autobots, who mostly weren't that funny so I didn't bother listing most of them -

Wheeljack: Pirate
Ratchett: Pro Football Player
Skyfire: Gigolo (the real reason he and Starscream broke up)

- Decepticons, who are much, much funnier -

Galvatron: President
Cyclonus: Stand Up Comedian
Thundercracker: Church Minister
Skywarp: Topless Model
Soundwave: Suicide Bomber
Rumble: Ho

- and saving the best for last -

Unicron: Pole Dancer (... all I can think is 'gosh, that would have be a very big pole!')
Megatron: Village Idiot
Starscream: Garden Gnome
Optimus Prime: Nun (this is my favourite thing ever)

- Peace Keepers, because Apathy's wish is my command -

Aeryn Sun: Porn Star
Scorpius: Dodgem Driver
Mele-On Grazay: Panto Dame
Bialar Crais: Soap Actor
Braca: Anything except what you're doing now (yeah, I cans see him feeling that way for much of the series.)

- characters selected at random for their hilarity -

G'Kar: Nice Old Man
Londo Mollari: Porn Star (... only when I'm writing the story)
Winn Adami: Wicked Witch of the West
Garak: Mime Artist
Captain Picard: Muppet Impersonator
Batman: Kids TV Presenter
Avon: Nursury Teacher
Vila Restal: Shoplifting
Rorschach: stripper (*screams some more*)
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andraste: The reason half the internet imagines me as Patrick Stewart. (Default)
Andraste

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