I Am Not Writing A Doctor Who High School AU

[andraste]

Because it would be silly! If surprisingly popular, going by the number of people who claim they would read it.

Also because I would have to work out things like:

- What kind of British school would have a student body broad enough to encompass Victoria Waterfield and Charley Pollard at one end and Ace at the other? (Dorothy McShane is certainly bright enough to qualify for a scholarship to the kind of school that would cater to the likes of Turlough and Nyssa, but I have trouble imagining her applying herself enough to score one.)

- What kind of dog is K9, anyway? I'm thinking fox terrier, just going by the ears and the little waggy tail. Also, what is he doing on school grounds? Does the teacher formerly known as the Fourth Doctor get in trouble for bringing him to work? Does he chase Wolsey, the school cat?

- What kind of school would let Jack 'I'm A Sexual Harassement Suit Waiting To Happen!' Harkness onto their grounds, let alone hire him? I am so tempted to make him the Biology teacher, just for the bad jokes.

- What on earth does one do with Leela in a scenario like this? Erimem (and even C'Rizz and Destrii) can be exchange students from foreign lands, but Leela's warrior schtick is so much at the core of the character I'm not sure what she'd be like in a 21st century setting.

- Any way you look at it, the story seems over-supplied with school nurses. Harry Sullivan and Hex and Martha Jones seems like a bit much. (At least I cannot wrap my brain around Grace Holloway doing that job.)

- Do Deputy Heads in British schools take classes, or is it purely an admin position? (In Australia, the principal doesn't usually take classes him/herself. But it's not unheard of for the deputy - or deputies, if the school has more than one - squeeze a couple into their busy schedules.)

- Do they play cricket in Scotland? No, honestly, I don't know these things.

- I do not know what Fey Truscott-Sade (obscure comics character, for those who've never heard of her) would teacher, other than Being A Fabulous Lesbian. Which is not taught formally in any school I've heard of.

Comments

[lilacsigil.livejournal.com]

School nurses (canon nurses/doctors) could teach biology or chemistry or PE.

Oh, PE. That's totally what Jack teaches. PE teachers are all perves or psychopaths, as far as I can tell.

My dad is Scottish, went to school in Scotland, Rhodesia and Australia and played cricket and hockey in all of these places. You might want to check with a modern Scot, though!

Leela could be the savage hockey mistress. And lacrosse mistress. And teach self-defence for the girls. Hockey mistresses are scary and wear their short sports skirt everywhere.

[jeriendhal.livejournal.com]

I like that idea for Leela. The Gym Teacher From Hell persona fits her perfectly.

[jhall1.livejournal.com]

Great minds... :) I hadn't seen your comment when I wrote mine.

[jhall1.livejournal.com]

:)

- What kind of British school would have a student body broad enough to encompass Victoria Waterfield and Charley Pollard at one end and Ace at the other? (Dorothy McShane is certainly bright enough to qualify for a scholarship to the kind of school that would cater to the likes of Turlough and Nyssa, but I have trouble imagining her applying herself enough to score one.)

Most secondary schools in the state sector are now Comprehensives, which means that they are supposed to cater for all abilities. But I can imagine Victoria's parents being wealthy enough to send her to a "public school" (ie private school) if they chose.

What kind of dog is K9, anyway? I'm thinking fox terrier, just going by the ears and the little waggy tail. Also, what is he doing on school grounds? Does the teacher formerly known as the Fourth Doctor get in trouble for bringing him to work? Does he chase Wolsey, the school cat

I suspect that state schools wouldn't now allow staff to bring pets to work. If it was a private school, presumably it would depend on the Head and/or governors.

What kind of school would let Jack 'I'm A Sexual Harassement Suit Waiting To Happen!' Harkness onto their grounds, let alone hire him? I am so tempted to make him the Biology teacher, just for the bad jokes.

If he was discreet, especially on school, premises, he might get away with it.

What on earth does one do with Leela in a scenario like this? Erimem (and even C'Rizz and Destrii) can be exchange students from foreign lands, but Leela's warrior schtick is so much at the core of the character I'm not sure what she'd be like in a 21st century setting.

PE mistress? (Deadly on the hockey field.)

Any way you look at it, the story seems over-supplied with school nurses. Harry Sullivan and Hex and Martha Jones seems like a bit much. (At least I cannot wrap my brain around Grace Holloway doing that job.)

Unless, unstead of a school, you made it a medical school.

Do Deputy Heads in British schools take classes, or is it purely an admin position? (In Australia, the principal doesn't usually take classes him/herself. But it's not unheard of for the deputy - or deputies, if the school has more than one - squeeze a couple into their busy schedules.)

I think it's much the same here. At least, it was when I went to school, more years ago than I care to remember.

Do they play cricket in Scotland? No, honestly, I don't know these things.

They do, but it's a minor sport there. I don't think that the average state school would play any.

I do not know what Fey Truscott-Sade (obscure comics character, for those who've never heard of her) would teacher, other than Being A Fabulous Lesbian. Which is not taught formally in any school I've heard of.

I suspect that it's taught informally in a number of all-girls' schools, though. :) (Incidentally, most British schools these days are co-educational, even public schools having at least a smattering of the "opposite" sex.)

[calapine.livejournal.com]

I don't think that the average state school would play any.


Mine did, yo.

Do they play cricket in Scotland?

We play badly. Very, very badly.

[jeriendhal.livejournal.com]

As for K-9, why make him a real dog at all? He's 4Doc's SCIENCE! project, a mobile PC with voice interface (though you could probably delete the stun gun in his nose and the advanced sensors.)

(looks forward to seeing Sarah-Jane Smith, Intrepid School Reporter.)

[astrogirl2.livejournal.com]

Ye gods, now you're making me want to read it, which is just Wrong. With a capital W and everything. :)

[lizbee.livejournal.com]

*claps at further evidence of planning*

Re: Leela, there's a classic Enid Blyton tradition of shaking a class up by bringing in a former circus girl or gypsy. Who shall learn the ways of white middle class niceness after she causes havoc in classes and refuses to play fair.

Either that, or she can be the French mistress.

[apathocles.livejournal.com]

Scotland were in the cricket World Cup! (Granted, so were Canada, but that's not the point.)

[quixotic-sense.livejournal.com]

I think that Leela, from what little I know of her, would make an awesome coach for a newly-established girls' football (soccer) team. The girls' team, of course, ends up pwning the boys' team.

[wychwood]

If I were you, I'd think about making it a grammar school; if you don't have them, they are selective state schools, you have to pass an exam. Most of them were abolished in the 1980s, but there are some areas where they still exist (I went to one, which is still a grammar school today). Also, is this contemporary or, you know, Seven-era? Because if you do set it twenty years back, you would probably have more luck making the older companions plausible.

Jack would totally be a games teacher; he'd fit right in *g*

Deputy Heads do sometimes take classes; we had two, one who taught English and one who taught Science (to the lower years, before they started dividing it into Biology, Chemistry, and Physics). Obviously they didn't teach as much as other staff, but you did see them in the classroom.

Cricket is played in Scotland (see: their team in the World Cup) but I don't think it's terribly popular (see: their lack of success in the World Cup *g*). I don't know if they'd play it in school, though.

(and to qualify jhall1's comment about schools mostly being mixed - this is true, but there definitely are still single-sex schools, particularly among the grammars; in my city we have one mixed, two all-girl and two all-boy (although my particular school had an all-girl and an all-boy school on the same site, with a joint sixth-form block, orchestra, drama club and so on). So you can deal with that however you want, all the options are available :))

[trishalynn.livejournal.com]

Leela's warrior schtick is so much at the core of the character I'm not sure what she'd be like in a 21st century setting.

Definitely a sport-o, a jock, a lacrosse-stick or field hockey-club-wielding GOD who intimidates all the boys, and pwns them at the same time.

[redfiona99.livejournal.com]

>>- Do Deputy Heads in British schools take classes, or is it purely an admin position? (In Australia, the principal doesn't usually take classes him/herself. But it's not unheard of for the deputy - or deputies, if the school has more than one - squeeze a couple into their busy schedules.)>>

All of mine did (we had 3), as did the head. But then again, they were all mad as hatters. I only ever had one of them teaching me, but he was lovely.

>>- Do they play cricket in Scotland? No, honestly, I don't know these things.>>

Yes they do. Most schools in the UK afaik have it as part of the boys summer sports curriculum.

>>- What kind of school would let Jack 'I'm A Sexual Harassement Suit Waiting To Happen!' Harkness onto their grounds, let alone hire him? I am so tempted to make him the Biology teacher, just for the bad jokes.<<

I shall not make statements about one of my old biology teachers who eventually married one of his pupils. I'm in favour of the suggestion of making him a PE teacher.

[vandonovan.livejournal.com]

All I can say is that it would be an utter delight if Ian and Barbara weren't teachers in this, hahaha.

[jhall1.livejournal.com]

One other thought. Nowadays quite a few British schools have Websites, which would be fruitful places for research.

[yma2.livejournal.com]

1: British schools can have a pretty wide variety of people. Sure, those with lots of money might go private, but not all. You could get some pretty posh people in a state school

Deputies do indeed teach. Even headmasters teach uppon occasion, though this is much rarer.

I imagine they play cricket in Scotland...

Being a Fabulous Lesbian, eh? Mmm... I might be convinced to sign up for classes... ;)

[narm00.livejournal.com]

Any way you look at it, the story seems over-supplied with school nurses. Harry Sullivan and Hex and Martha Jones seems like a bit much. (At least I cannot wrap my brain around Grace Holloway doing that job.)

You could have Martha as the nurse, with Hex as the assistant. Or if having two nurses proves too much, have Martha as Biology teacher, and have Hex be the nurse. Harry, I'd make a teacher - he'd be perfect as the genial sort who's just a tiny wee out of touch with the modern day. Maybe IT, for that ironic twist. :)

As regards Jack, I don't think it's the /students/ people would have to worry about, I think it's his fellow teachers...

I do not know what Fey Truscott-Sade (obscure comics character, for those who've never heard of her) would teacher, other than Being A Fabulous Lesbian. Which is not taught formally in any school I've heard of.

Art teacher. She presents herself as being an 'art detective' in her first appearance, after all. And it would certainly fit with Being A Fabulous Lesbian.

(I must myself admit to writing in a high school AU - created by scarfman - although it's even /more/ cracky than the norm of these fics...)

[pollymel.livejournal.com]

Oh, K9 is totally a Scottish Terrier. :) Lookit that shape.

[sunstar77.livejournal.com]

What kind of school would let Jack 'I'm A Sexual Harassement Suit Waiting To Happen!' Harkness onto their grounds, let alone hire him?

LOL. I don't have an answer, but this almost made me spit soda onto my keyboard.

[marymac.livejournal.com]

If you're looking for the kind of school that might get all sorts, you could try having it be one of the really ancient charity schools, like Christ's Hospital, which, funny uniform notwithstanding, is a sort-of-private-800-year-old-charity-school that basically collects bright kids/kids who will do better academically or whatever away from home. And also, since it has live-in staff and students, can legitimately have random dogs and slightly more staff than a normal school. Also would have a lot of specialist staff for the random collection of amenities that gather when you've had one site for 600 years. (Cousin used to work in their theatre. I am still jealous)

[londonkds.livejournal.com]

How about Jack as a precocious ultra-smoothy sixth-former who thinks he can get better marks by flirting with all the teachers?

[leeson.livejournal.com]

What kind of school would let Jack 'I'm A Sexual Harassment Suit Waiting To Happen!' Harkness onto their grounds, let alone hire him? I am so tempted to make him the Biology teacher, just for the bad jokes.

You are fantastic. No, really, just, so terribly fantastic.

mem+

P.S. K9 reminds me more of a blood hound for some reason...

[leeson.livejournal.com]

schvuck. Basset hound.

*headdesk*

[andraste]

You are fantastic. No, really, just, so terribly fantastic.

Thank you *g*. Others have suggested that he teach Physical Education, which has the virtue of leading to just as many bad jokes and involving uniforms.

P.S. K9 reminds me more of a blood hound for some reason...

Basset hounds seem right in terms of temperament, but they have those long floppy ears.

[leeson.livejournal.com]

Well, phys ed...hmm...nubile things in tiny, tight shorts? Yeah, great idea. lol. Might as well put him in sex ed.

Hey...hmmm...Jack Harkness: Sexual Education.

He's certainly qualified. ;)