Fraser and Ray vs. The Drabblematic
Apr. 27th, 2007 01:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
andrasteNaturally I couldn't resist. I find this thing funniest when everyone is bizarrely in character, hence the bits I chose to post *g*.
The Miracle Of The Diefenbaker
Ray hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a Mountie who had just gotten his man. He loathed it.
Every December, Ray would feel himself getting all stupid inside. He refused to put up a Christmas mint condition 1971 Buick Riviera, he snapped at anyone truthful enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.
On December 13, Ray had to go to the mall to buy a good Mountie hat. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing irritably around and so much Christmas music blaring angrily, he thought his leg would explode.
Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a shiny man collecting for charity. Ray never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.
Suddenly, the shiny man dropped his bells and ran on a dogsled. There was a weird Diefenbaker right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the shiny man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!
Ray rushed out and honestly pushed them both out of the way. There was a cold bang and then everything went dark.
When Ray woke up, he was in a perfect room. There was a Christmas mint condition 1971 Buick Riviera in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Ray's arm hurt. A lot.
The shiny man came into the room. "I'm so Canadian!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Fraser. You saved me from the truck. But your arm is broken."
Ray hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas mint condition 1971 Buick Riviera up and his arm was broken, he felt quite pretty, especially when he looked at Fraser.
"Your arm must hurt politely," Fraser said. "I think this will help." And he shot Ray several times.
Now Ray felt very pretty indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Fraser. "I love you," he said, and kissed Fraser heroically.
"I love you too," said Fraser. Just then, the Diefenbaker ran into the room and nuzzled Ray's head. "I brought him home with us," Fraser said.
"We'll call him Miracle," Ray said. "Our Christmas Miracle."
It was the best Christmas ever.
Fraser and Ray were celebrating a Canadian Valentine's Day together. Fraser had cooked a cold dinner and they ate on a dogsled by candlelight.
The weird man came into the room. "I'm so pretty!" he said.
Ray:
Swain, by yonder pretty mint condition 1971 Buick Riviera I swear
That tips on a dogsled the good Mountie hat--
Fraser:
O, swear not by the mint condition 1971 Buick Riviera, the weird mint condition 1971 Buick Riviera,
That heroically changes in its stupid orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise stupid.
Then he kissed Fraser and they tumbled on a dogsled and did a lot of very weird things, some of them involving a good mint condition 1971 Buick Riviera.
... that last one is the most accurate description of due South ever.
The Miracle Of The Diefenbaker
Ray hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a Mountie who had just gotten his man. He loathed it.
Every December, Ray would feel himself getting all stupid inside. He refused to put up a Christmas mint condition 1971 Buick Riviera, he snapped at anyone truthful enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.
On December 13, Ray had to go to the mall to buy a good Mountie hat. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing irritably around and so much Christmas music blaring angrily, he thought his leg would explode.
Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a shiny man collecting for charity. Ray never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.
Suddenly, the shiny man dropped his bells and ran on a dogsled. There was a weird Diefenbaker right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the shiny man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!
Ray rushed out and honestly pushed them both out of the way. There was a cold bang and then everything went dark.
When Ray woke up, he was in a perfect room. There was a Christmas mint condition 1971 Buick Riviera in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Ray's arm hurt. A lot.
The shiny man came into the room. "I'm so Canadian!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Fraser. You saved me from the truck. But your arm is broken."
Ray hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas mint condition 1971 Buick Riviera up and his arm was broken, he felt quite pretty, especially when he looked at Fraser.
"Your arm must hurt politely," Fraser said. "I think this will help." And he shot Ray several times.
Now Ray felt very pretty indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Fraser. "I love you," he said, and kissed Fraser heroically.
"I love you too," said Fraser. Just then, the Diefenbaker ran into the room and nuzzled Ray's head. "I brought him home with us," Fraser said.
"We'll call him Miracle," Ray said. "Our Christmas Miracle."
It was the best Christmas ever.
Fraser and Ray were celebrating a Canadian Valentine's Day together. Fraser had cooked a cold dinner and they ate on a dogsled by candlelight.
The weird man came into the room. "I'm so pretty!" he said.
Ray:
Swain, by yonder pretty mint condition 1971 Buick Riviera I swear
That tips on a dogsled the good Mountie hat--
Fraser:
O, swear not by the mint condition 1971 Buick Riviera, the weird mint condition 1971 Buick Riviera,
That heroically changes in its stupid orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise stupid.
Then he kissed Fraser and they tumbled on a dogsled and did a lot of very weird things, some of them involving a good mint condition 1971 Buick Riviera.
... that last one is the most accurate description of due South ever.