andraste: The reason half the internet imagines me as Patrick Stewart. (Default)
So, [ profile] selenak and I were joking about how the Jossverse teaches people now not to deal with depression. She made a list of the valuable lessons to be learned from Angel, so I am covering the BtVS side of things.

If I am depressed:

- I will not seek revenge on the people who tormented me at school. It is better to grow beyond these things, and magic has a way of backfiring.

- If I can't get a date, I will not:

a) use a love spell or brainwashing device to try and get my significant other back.

b) build myself a love interest out of spare body parts and/or metal and plastic.

c) date Inca mummies, frat boys who worship snake gods, or vampires in desperation.

d) it should go without saying that I won't try to rape anyone, but some people need these things spelled out ...

- I will not sit at home drinking scotch and angsting, especially not when my girlfriend has been posessed by a demon.

- Having a terminal illness sucks, but I will remember that joining the undead is only a temporary solution when the Slayer is around.

- If a loved one dies, I will not:

a) try to kill a dangerous vampire single-handed. (Unless I am the Slayer, of course.)

b) attempt to ressurect them using magic. It never ends well.

c) take bloody revenge. Flaying people is so messy.

- I will not run away to Los Angeles and change my name.

- I will not make wishes in front of people who might be Vengeance Demons in disguise.

- I will not sit around waiting for the sun to burn me to a crisp. Partly because I am not a vampire and it would not kill me anyway, and partly because sunburn is no fun.

- Even if I feel alienated from everyone, I will not seek employment with high-ranking villains. It will all end in tears, or possibly comas, bodyswapping and prison.

- I will not try to shoot myself in the school bell tower. The Slayer has enough to do saving the world without talking me down.

- I will not leave town suddenly without discussing things with my significant other first.

- I will not drown my sorrows in alcohol, and especially not alcohol that's had a spell cast on it.

- Also, I will remember that my ex-boyfriend old friend the Chaos mage is the kind of person inclined to cast spells on alcohol.

- I will try not to accidentally cast spells on all my friends sending them blind, setting demons on them and making them get engaged.

- I will not try to stake myself, as it will only make me look pathetic to my enemies.

- I will not swap bodies with my rival so I can beat myself up literally instead of just figuratively.

- I will not warp the entire universe to make myself into a hero, filmstar and occasional caberet singer.

- I will not fight with all my friends when the Apocalypse is about to happen. (Of course, if I live in Sunnydale, this means there is never a good time to fight with my friends.)

- I will not allow myself to be fed on by vampires.

- I will not slash my wrists, even if I'm just checking to see if supernatural constructed entities can bleed.

- I will not become catatonic just when the Apocalypse is about to happen, either.

- If I heroically fling myself off a high tower to my death, I'll remember that I have well-meaning friends who know magic and may just end up worse off.

- I will not attempt to become a supervillain.

- I will not get addicted to magic.

- I will not take up shoplifting.

- I will not have a lot of ill-advised sex with (another) vampire, no matter how good he looks without a shirt.

- I will tell my loved ones what's upsetting me before forced to do so by a spontaneous city-wide outbreak of musical theatre.

- I will not wipe everyone's memories.

- I will not leave my fiance at the altar.

- Even if my fiance leaves me at the altar, I will not go back to being a Vengeance Demon.

- I will not try to kill all my friends, even if I think they're hallucinations.

- I will not try to destroy the world to end my pain and everyone else's.

- No matter how bad things get, there's a funny side to everything.

- I will not burn myself using religious symbols.

- I will not become so withdrawn that my loved ones suspect me of being an incorporeal evil spirit.

- I will not spend all my time making a documentary film about the Slayer - it annoys people.

- While sex with vampires usually turns out badly, sleeping with them can be surprisingly helpful.

- I will remember that no matter how many Apocaylypes and relatioship breakdowns I go through, my friends will always be there in the end.
andraste: The reason half the internet imagines me as Patrick Stewart. (Default)
This one is for [ profile] thete1, who asked for X-Men, Ultimate X-Men, Sandman, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Ultraviolet and Ultimate Fantastic Four and gave me the prompt 'something appalling'. Although she did specify that I could just pick one, I took that as a challenge *g*. This was a concept I could not squeeze into one hundred words. Also, I don't think it ends properly. I manage to feel some sense of achievement anyway.

Inspired by the Shadowlands shared universe concept, although the explanation for the trouble is different. (Or maybe not *g*.)

Mostly BtVS and Ultraviolet ... )
andraste: The reason half the internet imagines me as Patrick Stewart. (Default)
For [ profile] adn_heming, one hundred words of Drusilla. (It occurs to me that I have not seen all of Angel, although I don't think this is Jossed by anything on screen.)


She opens her eyes as it gets dark, feeling cozy and content for the first time in an age. It's been ever so long since she was properly rested, but now she feels as though she's slept the clock round in her own bed at home.

There is no bed here, but she stretches and sighs, comfortable. The pictures in her head told her what would happen, and now that it has she finds she doesn't mind a bit.

By and by, she'll get up out of her new-dug resting place, like the rising sun that she'll never see again.

The End
andraste: The reason half the internet imagines me as Patrick Stewart. (Default)
Yes, here it is, the whole thing: the real story behind Once More, With Feeling starring everyone's favourite geeks. Since I don't write filks, or script format, and I certainly don't do musicals, it's all Selena's fault ...

Disclaimer: Warren, Jonathan and Andrew belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy, not us. We're not making any money out of this production.

Disclaimer #2: The original music doesn't belong to us, either, but to a bunch of people credited more fully after the show. We also ripped of Goethe while we were at it.

Trio: The Musical

By [ profile] selenak and [ profile] andrastewhite

Starring (In Alphabetical Order): Jonathan Levinson, Warren Meers and Andrew Wells.

With Special Guest Appearance By: Xander Harris.

The curtain rises ... )
andraste: The reason half the internet imagines me as Patrick Stewart. (Default)
I just finished watching Chosen this afternoon - an episode I shall no doubt babble about later - and I decided I can finally post this. I wrote it soon after watching Storyteller but was wary about sending it out there without a full knowledge of later canon.

Summary: Because Andrew should always be wearing oven mitts.

Rating: Maybe PG-13, at the outside.

Continuity: Somewhere between 'Storyteller' and 'Dirty Girls'.

There's some people I'd like to thank, both good and evil ... )


andraste: The reason half the internet imagines me as Patrick Stewart. (Default)

October 2017

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